Summary

I liked this book because it gives you practical ideas on how to improve your communication skills. 

Still, as with any skill, you need to practice. 

And books aren’t very good at helping you practice. 

Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, shares insights from high-stakes situations to help readers improve their negotiation skills.

“Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It” by Chris Voss is a practical guide to negotiation and communication techniques. 

I used these techniques in my business and personal life. 

My favorite is: “How am I supposed to do that?” when someone makes a request of you that you cannot or don’t want to accommodate. 

Key Insights

  1. Active Listening: Pay close attention to what the other party is saying. This helps understand their needs and build rapport.
  2. Mirroring and Labeling: Repeat the last few words the other person said and label their emotions. This shows empathy and keeps the conversation going.
  3. Tactical Empathy: Understand and acknowledge the other party’s feelings. This builds trust and opens up solutions.
  4. The Black Swan Technique: Use unexpected questions to disrupt the other party’s thought process and gain control of the negotiation.
  5. Calibrated Questions: Ask open-ended questions to gather information and keep the conversation flowing.
  6. The Yes Ladder: Use a series of small, agreeable questions to lead the other party to a “yes” answer.
  7. The Decoy: Present multiple options to make the desired option seem more attractive.
  8. The Empathy Switch: Shift the focus from “I” to “we” to create a collaborative atmosphere.
  9. The Negotiator’s Mindset: Stay calm, patient, and focused during negotiations.

My rating

Easy to understand ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Practicality ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Convenience ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Educational Value ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Overall Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Verdict

 “Never Split the Difference” is a valuable resource for anyone looking to enhance their negotiation or communication skills. 

I applied the Chriss Voss’s techniques in various situations, from business deals to personal interactions. 

Sometimes with success other times – not so much. 

Also, due to the nature of my work (I’m NOT a negotiator), I find that these skills tend to get forgotten as time goes by, so you have to re-listen/re-read the book to refresh your memory and try again.


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